关于爱情
序
一个英文的小演讲
不是很喜欢中文翻译后的内容，又不是很擅长中文翻译，于是记录为英文文本
90岁的犹太拉比分享关于犹太人的智慧…
他用一段简短的故事，简单诠释出爱的真正意义。
Rabbi Dr.Abraham Twerski 除了是有名的犹太拉比（智者），也是一名精神科医生。
故事
Love is a word that, in our culture, has almost lost its meaning. Now, there’s an interesting story about the Rabbi of Kotzk, who came across the young man who was clearly enjoying a dish of fish that he was eating. And he said,”Young man why are you eating that fish?” The young man said,”Because I love fish.” He said,”Cool, you love the fish. That’s why you took it out of the water and killed it and boiled it.” He said,”Don’t tell me you love the fish. You love yourself, and because the fish tastes good to you. Therefore, you took it out of the water and killed it and boiled it.”
So much of what is love, is fish love. And so, young couple falls in love. Young man and young woman fall in love, what does that means? That means that he saw in this woman, someone who he feels could provide him with all his physical and emotional needs. And she feels in this man, somebody she feels that she can write “that is love”. But each one is looking out for their own needs. It’s not love for the other. The other person becomes a vehicle for my gratification.
Too much of what is called love, is fish love. An external love is not on what I’m going to get but what I’m going to give. We had an ethicist, Rabbi of Dessler who said,”The people make a serious mistake in thinking that you give to those whom you love. And the real answer is, you love those to whom you give.” His point is, if I give something to you, I’ve invested myself in you. And since self-love is a given, everybody loves themselves, now that part of me has become in you, there’s part of me in you that I love.
So true love is a love of giving, not a love of receving.
「人们犯了一个严重的错，错认为你要为你所爱的人付出。真正的答案是你爱你为之付出的那个人。」
其他人的留言
上大學的時候，有一次實習歸來，我們在帶隊的教授家裡吃了一頓。
愉快的晚餐結束後，桌上杯盤狼籍。幾個同學搶著要洗碗，教授卻滿面笑容地阻止道：「不急，有人洗呢。」
教授將碗筷放進水池，先衝去油污，然後，輕輕地走到他八十高齡的老母親身邊：「媽，洗碗嘍……」
同學們一下子都楞住了，只見老太太一改餐桌上的委靡，精神煥發地走到水池邊，慢騰騰地洗起碗來，花了半個小時才把碗洗完。
教授高興地對老太太說：「您辛苦了，歇歇吧。」他拿了塊毛巾，給母親擦手。
教授攙母親回房後，又返回廚房，把碗重新洗了一遍。
教授對著詫異的我們說：「做母親的沒有不想為孩子做點什麼的，即使她老了，但在她眼裡，兒子永遠需要她的幫忙。讓她洗碗，她就會感到兒子需要她，一整天就會過得充實。孝敬父母，除了幫助父母外，還要給他們一個機會，讓他們愛你。
喜歡一朵花，你會摘下它
愛一朵花，你會灌溉它
“正因为你为你的玫瑰花费了时间，这才使你的玫瑰变得如此重要。”
我记得这好像是「小王子」里的，五六年前看的书
小感触
I don’t want to have fish love.
经历的事情越多，对这些话的感触也就越丰富
以前，我希望我的另一半和我有很多共同的话题
可又想了一下，这不就是自爱吗
至少我感觉，我的心目前没有任何想打开的迹象，装不下其他人，也没人能打开